i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
