READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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