Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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