She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Your penis caused this!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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