Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
