Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
whose parrot is this?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize