I feel like abortions should bother me more
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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