Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
