On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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