Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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