I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I understand Curling. That high.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
