just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
