yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
