So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
