I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
