you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
