Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I should be sponsored by Trojan
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
