I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
