The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
