Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
