My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
