Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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