how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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