I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
