Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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