Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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