and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
