She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
