so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
