After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
