Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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