I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
