I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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