have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
