I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
