He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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