As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
