I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
