Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
