Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
