He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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