is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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