Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just google imaged poop.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
