No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
