I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize