OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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