kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
