I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
