i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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