There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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