I'm drive I can fine osifer
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
