no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize