So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
