Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
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