ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You're a waste of cheezeits
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
