Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
