everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
